Letter to MTA

I will say now that you were one of my favorites. We had our good days and bad days. I loved that i could talk to you when i felt some type of way. When i told you that i loved someone else before you and i wasnt sure if i could move on from them, you werent mad one bit you actually just said you wanted me to be happy no matter who i was with even if it wasnt you. We ended because you betrayed me and i also betrayed you and we both werent faithful. It killed me when i fell unfaithful then finding out that you werent and you kept it a secret for months and denied me but gave someone else apart of you that you wont give me. So jealousy was big and we avoided each other for months after the breakup but we shortly became friends again and feelings were always going back and forth but we kept our distance and never acted on them because we knew we werent meant for each other but you were a great person and an amazing friend. I wish we didnt lose that communication that we once had.

An Empty Soul

Sitting in an empty world with no one around who knows the truth
Being all alone in a dark booth
All I wanted was a compliment here and there
To have the one i love hold me with their hands everywhere
Give me what i give you
And maybe this love will do.

Hold me tight
Make my smile grow bright
Give me your heart
And our love could grow off the charts
I stay up to hear you sleep
And wake up to your alarms loud beep

I thought i could do this
But i dont think out love could be bliss
Not with how we are now
And to think months for now you wanted to give me a vow
How could you recover
But my heartless soul is what i shall now discover

My Birthday After Day

Alright guys!! Yesterday was my birthday and today i am in class with nothing to do. I had the option to skip this class but i decided to come to class mainly because i know Toni would try to skip her class if she knew i could. So here i am in here bored... I worked 4-11 on the 9th so after i got off work a co-worker gave me an early birthday gift and went home and celebrated right at 12 stayed up talking to Toni because that is something that we have been lacking for a while now. We stayed up and talked about how we felt and what we are excited about when moving away. I actually enjoyed it because i told her about what i loved about my past relationships and what is harming our relationship. After we decided what we would work on and what we needed to go further into with talking. I fell asleep around 3 in the morning. Woke up at about 9 and cancelled our appointment to view the houses we were suppose to look at but we went online and took a virtual tour and we did not like what we saw. And plus the company was rude to us when we went up to talk to them. So we stayed in bed for a while watching movies and TV. It was so hard getting out of bed but we did because my best friend texted me and asked if we would go to the movies around 4:45 so around 2 we got up went to the mall and Toni made me feel so special there she was patient and helped me pick out clothes that actually matched and complimented me when i tried some thing on or told me she didn't like what i had or it wasn't me. We then got food from the mall and by the time we got done eating we headed out to the movies and bought our tickets and my best friend text me and tells me they went to the wrong theater and we were okay with it because Toni's step sister needed the money we owed her for her son's birthday party. I was fine with going to give the money just because our birthday's were on the same day. We go back to the theater and my best friend tells me she doesn't want to see the movie because it already started. We go back out to see what else is playing after we get our refund for the previous tickets and nothing was showing until 7. That was not okay. i didn't want to be waiting on a movie when i had homework to do when i got home. So we decided to go to our house and watch a movie on the big screen because it was cheaper and no one would interrupt us from the movie. They enjoyed it even though i fell asleep. But all in all i enjoyed my birthday and i realized more about Toni and how she felt about me and what she saw in me. If you know me you will know it doesn't take much to make me happy.

Looking Back

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?

You fall deeper with each passing day

But try to hide it in every possible way.

She's only a friend, and nothing else--

That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.

You keep on sayings she's just a bud,

But deep inside, you're falling in love.

You get so giddy when you meet her eyes,

But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.

A simple glance turns into a stare

But you pretend that you don't care.

It's "not right" for you two to be

Is that why you hide it so no one can see?

But how long will you pretend?

Keep lying that she's just a friend?

Perhaps your feelings you can never show.

Perhaps it's "wrong" for her to know.

Your friendship can't be risked over this,

So being her girl is an impossible wish...