She Gave Me This

So Toni read the poems I wrote her this week and out of no where she told me she wanted to write me something and I didn't really take her serious because she used to always tell me she would write me something then she wouldn't show me so I didn't think much of it. But then she emailed me this poem which took her about 20mins to write and I loved it to be honest and I know how she feels because she wrote them down. I don't know maybe im just weird but here is the poem she wrote i hope you like it as much as i did.


It seems just like yesterday

when we started off as friends.

Not knowing what we would be

come. You gave me comfort and

love in the way no one else

could . As each day grew longer

and as the cold nights set in ,

I knew it wouldn't be long before

We would be together again .

 Now its six years later down

the road and i can call your

heart home . Together forever

and never apart as long as i

have you in my Heart.  I promise
to keep you there , forever

Implanted in my heart

Now that you have read the poem i can tell you that i just about cried because of this short poem. Only because i am an emotional person and because i wrote a poem a while ago saying how i just wanted someone to love me the way i loved them and saying make me your home. i never told her about that poem and she said it and i was just like wow. but she is the only female that has ever given me this type of love and i just feel like i finally have what i deserve and i treasure her beyond the limits that she expect. So there you go guys hope you enjoyed the post of the day.

Priorities

Loan me your heart
Confront my everlasting soul
Be mine on the endless chart
My heart is taking a toll
On the simple thoughts of you
and the little things you do
Don't worry about anyone else
When I think of you no one else matters
So let your thoughts be just
Let our love not shatter
Its us against the world yet again
So let us begin
You are my passion
My true obsession
The love that cant be written in the captions
When I always called you my discretion
I didn't choose this love this time
I was just lucky enough to find a true dime
There is no one that can come before you
You have been my always been number one on my list
This should tell you how my love is real and true
you are my favorite gift
stay with me
and let our love be

Wife To Be

I always wonder if you were meant to be
As a small boat trapped in the open sea
Seeing with the journey of love I am just a no one
But with you it was always a hit and run
With years in the hand
our love was written in the thick sand
You are consistent and you never fail
Now we are just waiting for you to wear your wedding veil
And for me to hear your final words, which will be the music to my ears
So sweet and lovely that my eyes will surely come to tears
If heaven could speak
They would tell her not to be so meek
She is a friend in deed
one in which I truly need

Weekly Post

well guys that last post was just depressing and I try not to be. But here is my day. Well yesterday I talked to Toni all night and she told me that my ex (The one that is constantly trying to be with me like every day, and was my only guy friend) is dating a girl. Her old best friends friend. and I was like oh wow that's funny. Because a few hours before she told me that he was on the phone with me so I just laughed and I don't want to bring it in the work place since I gave him a job with me. I just blocked him on everything and deleted his number. I hate liars. I didn't even care if he was with someone because I wasn't really into him I wanted him to be happy with a straight girl. but I don't believe he should be telling me things and buying me things when he has a girl. just wrong. but I am happy. I can finally just tell him to give up on me completely now and to stop cheating on his girlfriend . but im in a no labeled relationship I guess. I don't have a girlfriend. im talking to Toni and its like we are together but we are taking it slow since we know how we feel and we don't use titles much. But on Monday she came over again and we decided to wait to do anything "sexual wise" until the promise ring comes. Its been 6 years and we both have religious beliefs on the subject and last time after we had a talk and we felt bad because we said we would wait and we basically failed so yeah we are going to continue the wait. But May I am buying her a promise ring and im not the type to rush things because I usually get scared when it comes down to commitment and she does to and that's why we constantly do the no labeled thing but I know she is the only person I can be committed to without thinking about it. But other than her and Malcom (the ex who cheats on his girlfriend.. poor girl) I have been in track and thinking a lot about Military and how I really need to get on studying and I am not losing weight im gaining muscles and my bottom is getting bigger it seems like dieting seems like its doing nothing ugh but that's all about this week so far thanks for reading love you all

We Overcame It

I have came such a mighty long way from where I was 4 years ago well more like 3 years ago.
Mentally going back and forth with if I wanted to be here or not
deciding whether to choose the blade or the pill
when the touch of a blade just gave me a sudden chill
How can this be
when the life I wanted to take belonged to me
That when I tried, I just couldn't go through with it
and after I felt like shit
When it started with my parents not claiming me
after I told them that I wasn't into a he and it just happened to be a she
Religion played a huge role
That's when my life began to take a toll
when the ones who were suppose to love you
gave up and just wouldn't do
Talking down on me and my sins
I just never could understand how me loving someone
would send me to a place known as hell.
How I could have a relationship
with no sins involved until marriage
and serve him to the fullest
and still not gain their love
I was just that black dove to my parents
And that want started the blade
with all the scars that were hidden in the shade
when my heart would just concave
So I got into poetry to put my feelings down in fine print
I couldn't put down everything just a little bit
I guess that helped calm me down
Maybe it did adjust my frown
But I still didn't feel complete
I felt like I wouldn't be enough
The good grades the obedience just made it seem so tough
And that turned me into the one I am today
Scared that I wouldn't be good enough for anyone
Where my trust issues come to play
and its not just for a day
Im laughing now because it all calmed down in May
That's when I met her
when she took the blade out my hand
and buried it deep within the hollow sand
she throw away my pills
and told me how great I really was
But she had issues herself
She also had a blade and a disorder that could she held so close
when I was one of the only ones she trusted
when she heart and body were under construction
She told me to stop and I said the same
and we didn't really know who was to blame
Growing up together we knew each other to that level
In a way she knew what she had to do
We made a promise to quite together
Yeah we had our slips but it was still enough to try to quit
Now she is the reason why the blade stops

I actually didn't try to type this as a poem or anything I just broke my thoughts up and it came out and I just let it go on so this is what you got. I just wanted it to be a entry on my thought process and I just let it flow. but thank you for reading this

What Do You Want This Time

When its good then we are fine
But when things go wrong its like we are slowly dying
We seem to not be a we anymore
Just because you wanted to walk out the door
This is becoming a ritual
And now its like casual
For you to run and for me to chase you
Have you thought about me ever getting tired
and not wanting to run anymore
Because when you run its just a little part of me that begins to get destroyed
Just stop
Tell me what you want
And I will try to do my best to give you what you want
I hate the felling of me walking on eggshells to make you happy
when this relationship if falling apart day by day
now tell me what you will say.

More Holidays to Come

31 more days or 1 month 4 days until my birthday. I am so excited I don't think you know. I have 3 reasons why I am excited for this. not only am I going to be older I get to have my best friend with me the whole day. and also I can have my girlfriend well not girlfriend my no labeled friend with me and then I get my tattoo. I have no idea what they are planning for me they are the two top people in my life but I don't know if they are going to come together on this one or if they are both doing something separately. hmm I don't know. but anyways moving on. Valentines day is coming up! what are your plans? well I work and so does the girl I want to spend it with. so yeah no fun there. But I did buy her something. If you follow the blog you should know that Toni is my no labeled friend. but since May is our 6th year I couldn't buy her a ring or anything because im buying that in may. but She asked for something cheesy and cute from me way before February even came so that was pressure for me. but I finally came up with something.  I designed a sweatshirt. At first it was a hoodie but I confirmed it with her best friend and she said she looks better with sweatshirts so there ya go I went with that. so I made her a crew neck and its our favorite color (blue) with our saying on the front (That Banana Bread Though) **If you follow me on tumblr or twitter you would have seen that its my name** then on the back it says TD & KJ May Made. ( the font is this very nice fancy print and the color of the letters are my second favorite color and the color of Bananas so yellow) then in black on the top of both sleeves are the numbers 12 on one and 13 on the other because that's how old we were when we met. and BAM there you go, a gift. it took me about 3 months to figure out a great gift. then I thought about her saying she wants matching sweatshirts and when I was doing this I was just thinking man we can be original and make our own now. but that's what I did and I cant keep secrets so she knows what she is getting and she is extremely excited, then a week and a half after Valentines day its her birthday... yup just back to back smh I need to to go bed tho ha night loves

http://www.spreadshirt.com/-C59/product/1004601323