Hello guys today has really been a reflection day on myself. After the day Toni and I watched True Life (a show played on MTV) I learned a lot. I realized there are people out here that are so clingy that it drives the person they are with away. And that right there made me think of the reasons of why me and Toni break up so much. I am too clingy and that annoys her.
So today she told me that tonight she is going to have a hotel with 3 of her friends and usually I would get mad or have an attitude. But instead I told her that I would be working tonight anyways, and that I hope she enjoys her time with her friends, I bet she thought I was sarcastic. She asked if I was mad I said no then I explained it to her saying, "yeah I was just talking to my friend saying that I have to not be so clingy with you because I know you are mine so I shouldn't be so selfish that you feel like you cant still have fun. I think True life really hit me that there are people more clingy and crazier than I am. but you need those days to just hang with your friends then if I get too attached they would hate me haha and I don't want that. I don't plan on breaking up again so I am trying something different that I haven't tried before and that is giving you space lol so this is new for me and I am trying, only because I love you"
Guys wish me luck on this whole "Turning over a new leaf" time for me. I honestly feel that knowing I am about to go off in a couple of months for a year without her is really getting to me. I am ready to leave but im not ready to be away from her. I went 6 years with her by my side and now I have to go a whole year basically without her, yeah im not ready. I am just taking everything serious now. I don't have time to put people in my life that wont stay or doing anything that will hurt me in the long run. so I am just trying to be at peace before I go away, and spend time with those I love most.
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